I am

I am a builder.

I am an architect.

I am a wizard.

I create.

Last week I ran afoul with my own thoughts. I despise nothing more than those depressing creative moods that drag me down like plough stuck in the mud. I have learned that for me there is only one solution: sleep.

But when the first night of sleep didn’t help. I’d gone to bed early, but didn’t sleep well. I spiraled into an even worse mood: an angry, depressed creative mood. It seriously didn’t help that the Universe seemed to want me in that exact state and was doing everything it could to keep me there.

The second night of sleep was better. I actually slept, probably because I hadn’t slept correctly the night before. Afterwards, I felt somewhat better, no longer stuck in the mud, but not quite pulling along like I should.

I asked the Universe what I needed now and it quickly replied with “The Freelancery, of course.” I headed over to Walt Kania’s blog. Now, I love Walt’s blog posts, but he doesn’t write nearly enough of them for me. I want more. But, I also understand that he’s got his freelancing going on and so I’m glad that he puts out his words of wisdom as he can for the rest of us.

Fortunately for me, he had put out a post since my last visit. And, just as the Universe had promised, it was exactly what I needed. In this post, he talks about the difference between an entrepreneur and a freelancer. At first, I was all ready to disagree and yell that a freelancer had to be an entrepreneur and understand that they were a business for themselves. But as I read Walt’s blog, I understood his point. And I saw that I most definitely ended up in the freelance side of things.

But as I read on and I got to his line, “…a freelancer says “I built this,”…” something inside me snapped as if two pieces were clicking into place together. Immediately I discarded the remnants of the funk plaguing me.

I am a builder. I build books, paintings, audiobooks, comics, photographs, and whatever else suits me at a given moment.

I am an architect. I see structures of plots, of systems, of storylines, of compositions all in my mind’s eye.

I am a wizard. I bring forth that which was not there into our world as if by magic using the tools I have.

I create. I make something from nothing, giving form and substance to the things I build.

I write this in order to remind myself should I ever forget. Maybe along the way, someone else needs to hear these thoughts so as to bring his or her own mind back together.

Maybe it will help, along with some sleep.