I had ground to a halt on Palladium shortly before working on the short story I had to get done for my class last week. So, I very much welcomed the break from Cirvel’s novel in order to work on something else.
In working on it yesterday, I really felt like I was just spinning my wheels. Not a good feeling. That’s partially why I figured I’d be going and painting as I did — I wanted a little bit more of delay from the novel to see if I just needed more time to let my creative voice tinker.
That was not the case. I was still not feeling like I was able to get unstuck today.
So I backed up to where I was last enjoying the story and proceeded again. Turns out, I think I brought in a character too early and in a weak, cliché way that just rubbed my creative voice the wrong way when I couldn’t pull out of it. Yeah, Cirvel was all being strong and in-charge, but this other character was so pathetic. In redrafting the story, I killed all the parts I didn’t like and left only that which made me happy. Then I started writing fresh again. It’s so much better.
It’s kind of like I was saying in yesterday’s post that I have to be receptive to what the piece wants me to do. With paint, it’s not like I can just hit the undo button and delete a layer of paint (well, if the underlayer is perfectly dry and the mistake I just made fresh, I can usually lift the paint off well enough to fix if I have to, but that’s a different matter, especially if I’ve been working with glazes). I have to keep building. I have to keep seeing where the piece is taking me. If I’m grinding down and the momentum is stopping, it’s best if I just step back.
It has been my goal to finish Palladium by the end of this month. But, there’s another part of me that wants to get another short story written. I don’t know if I will or not. I wonder if that’s just some resistance speaking to keep me from finishing this novel. There might be some fear about moving onto my next project (even thought it is 100%+ stupid — I know what project it is and I’m excited about it, so I don’t know why I’m worried about it. Any fear there is just plain ridiculous!).
I am also hoping to spend some time in the booth recording tomorrow. It’s supposed to be cold and windy, so I figure it’s a great time to seal myself away in a nearly soundproof box where I can be warm. It’s supposed to get windy early, but I’d like to get my words in before it gets too bad. Just not sure it’s going to happen.
Well, I’m off to get some things moved around before the wind tomorrow and to get some sleep.
Until tomorrow’s adventure!