To tear apart or not to tear apart?

That is the question I deal with today.

In trying to work on the trilogy yesterday, I started feeling like something was going wrong, like maybe scenes were out of order. I feel like I’ve reordered them once, even though the truth is that scenes I was able to merge in one of the scenes I’d previously deleted, and then when I got to the end of that, I took a different direction which allowed me to keep the other scene deleted because that scene was flat out dumb.

But now, I question the direction.

I suspect I have critical voice in a panic because I don’t know how this story is going to end and I have all these loose threads I feel like I’m dropping.

I’m not. I even made a list of them as I was outlining yesterday so that I wouldn’t forget them. But that isn’t making the critical voice happy at all because to it the story feels chaotic and disjointed.

Okay, I’m going to say this here: my son and I watched Marvel’s Eternals yesterday. For me, the story was a huge disappointment. Ugh! Can anyone else say, “Justice League”? Okay, my critical voice had a field day with that movie. I kept trying to kill the critique in my head because I wanted to enjoy the story for the story, but dang, they made it impossible for me to suspend my disbelief and just enjoy that movie. It was so flawed. I’m sure my son was getting tired of all my quips. But dang! I was really hoping to get a whiff of inspiration from the movie, but no. All that happened was the snake head of my critical voice gained power and grew larger.

That is not helping me with my story.

I gave into it last night and went to bed. Today, I started out with some more of the current Fenrir’s Tale, but then tried to get back to the third book. I suspect there are scenes that I’ve written which do need thrown out. But my critical voice wants me to go back several chapters and revamp a whole bunch of things. I’m resisting the idea right now because I suspect that it is critical voice and not the true desire of my creative voice, and it’s all because I don’t know where the story is going. I accept that I will have to go back and make adjustments throughout all three books when I’m done. I’ve already done that to a couple of sections, and I have a few more notes too. So right now I’m choosing not to tear the book to pieces, but to forge ahead.

I have another cup of coffee beside me and it’s time for me to delve into this novel once more and swim around to see what I can find.

Wish me luck.

Happy adventuring.