In paying attention to my critical voice lately, I’ve become fascinated by the terror barrier.

What’s a terror barrier? It’s that moment where you either want to do something (or know you need to do something), but you just can’t get yourself “motivated” to do it. While I’d read about it and discovered it for myself, it was actually Bob Proctor (who passed away this month) who I first heard give it a name.

For me, this rears its head most often with painting (as I’ve discussed ad nauseam). But yes, I find it in other areas of my life too.

If a desire to do something is new, my personality lets me rush forward with excitement and there is no terror barrier. The only time it starts to get at me is when I stop to think about something. Typically for most things, I see it, recognize it for what it is, and charge forward.

Other times, it stops me dead in my tracks and hides just out of range of my peripheral vision so I can’t see it and don’t realize its there.

I became aware of it today. All I had to do was sit down and write. But there it was, stopping me, trying to turn me to going and getting (you guessed it) a snack. Seriously? I had just had lunch and was not hungry. I’m trying to become more aware of when I really want to eat because I’m hungry versus emotional hunger. Not to mention that I’m back to counting calories and exercise, so I knew I didn’t have the calories. That one little thing to track definitely makes me more mindful.

I realized I was resisting sitting down to write and that it was a terror barrier. How very interesting. I hadn’t realized it was there and that it’s been there all summer. I was doing so well. But there it was. I often push through it — put the hands on the keyboard and start typing, but no wonder that I wasn’t getting as much done as I’d wanted. I suspect that I’ll have to break through that barrier more often until I’ve smashed it to bits. It does happen. I’ve been there too.

I also watched a very interesting painting video today. The video itself was just a simple painting tutorial, nothing real special. But for me, at that moment, it was just what I needed. It really made a lot of things click for me. I feel very close to a growth breakthrough.

And yet, I know there will be another terror barrier waiting for me there.

Do I believe it’s coincidence that I’m becoming aware of the other terror barriers in my life right now? No, I do think that it’s all coming together.

I just hope I haven’t built the wall so solid that I can’t break through it.

Fire, ready, aim.

Until next time, cheers.