Adrift or not

Here we are, sitting at Halloween. Even though it’s not the new year, I usually use this day as an ending with a new beginning tomorrow.

It feels weird to not have any goals set already.

As I said a few days ago, I’m concerning myself with habits this year rather than goals per say. I decided that I want to write 350,000 words this next year. Sounds like a goal, yes, but it is actually the result of wanting to write about 960 words per day. Yep, a habit that small adds up big. Right now, even a low daily word goal of that much is going to take an effort and probably a build up like exercising an unused muscle since I slowly ground to a halt after my failed daily page exercise.

Granted, the writing is only part of the equation. I want to be painting as well and I have an idea for a habit to start there, but so far I’ve been holding myself back. I may have to start with a really small habit there and work up.

My art teacher used to say that drawing for 10-15 minutes per day was better than drawing for 2 hours one day a week. With that advice in my head, I also want to re-start my drawing habit. Critical voice keeps screaming at me, “When???!!!!” I keep telling myself that I can find 10-15 minutes per day, especially if I have my sketchbook and pencil nearby.

So here I come with a bunch of new habits aligned to a trajectory I want to rise to. I feel a bit adrift here, scared too. I will either achieve this in small increments, or I will fail fast. I might skip across the ground like a flat rock skipped across a pond. By the time the new year rolls around, I want to have gained lift.

It’s strange because I’ve been re-watching Stargate Atlantis for the last few weeks, mostly having it on for noise as I write my blog. It helps keep Merlin settled. As I wrote that last paragraph, they were raising Atlantis off the planet, making it fly. Synchronicity?

Me and Atlantis. Hmm, that sounds fun. Like an adventure.