Gold star

Last night was hard.

When I write my blog, I didn’t want to admit how I’d been completely stopped on the painting I’d been working on. As much as I wanted to write last night after finishing the blog, I found it hard to sit down and start the process after the depressing stop to the painting.

The one good thing was that I recognized what a pattern this has become in my painting and I realized it was my fear of painting foregrounds. Stupid, huh? It feels ridiculous.

I didn’t even want to finish the painting. Just paint over it. Start something else, something that won’t be like this. Yeah, critical voice winning. But, I’m trying to finish what I’m starting no matter what. It’s important. I have to finish. So I told myself that I would attempt to paint the foreground and if it didn’t work, then I could paint over it. I’m mean, come on… what’s the worst that could happen. I have an over abundance of paint right now. It needs to be used. If I had to paint over it, no worries. I’d be doing myself a favor.

So I give myself a gold star for attempting it.

Not surprisingly, the foreground turned out pretty nice and I learned a lot. Now I’ve been telling myself that I need to paint the same composition again and again and again until I can do this without freezing up over the foreground even if I change colors or a few of the elements. it’s probably the same reason Monet painted haystacks over and over. I think I’m beginning to get it now. (Grin) Yes, I am that hard-headed.

But, it was time for me to go write, so I haven’t gotten the next painting started yet. I’ve already gotten more words done today than yesterday. My mood feels better tonight. I much prefer to end my day this way.

Now that I’ve gotten my gold star, I hope this is a lesson I take into the future.